Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tips for Making Small Talk and the Art of Working a Room

Do you need a job? Does the prospect of walking into a room full of strangers make you break into a cold sweat? If your answer to either of these questions is “YES,” then I encourage you to keep reading.

Looking for a job can be terrifying and time consuming, and networking might seem like the least attractive part. When I graduated and heard anyone talk about networking, I would tense up because I had absolutely no idea what to say to people. However, in the past few years, I have come to realize that networking really isn’t that difficult. The key is being open and willing to have a conversation with someone. The ability to connect with people through small talk is an acquired and practiced skill, but it can lead to big things like job leads, mentoring opportunities, and professional connections.

This article focuses on mastering small talk and how you can go from wallflower to social butterfly. The tips offered here are simple and will make it easier for you to speak to people at networking events, business functions and other social events.

1. Be the first to say "hello." It is not going to kill you to take the initiative and start a conversation. Plus, it takes the pressure off the person you are introducing yourself to and makes them more likely to engage in a conversation. Offer your name to ease the pressure. Smile first and always shake hands when you meet someone.


2. Pay attention during introductions. Make an extra effort to remember names and use them frequently. It shows people that you are interested and are taking the conversation seriously.


3. Don’t be afraid of clichés. Break the ice by talking about the weather, sports, movies or TV shows. These topics put people at ease because they are topics that everyone can talk about and will usually lead to other subjects. If you stay up to date on current events in your field (or desired field) you will be able to talk intelligently on a wide variety of subjects, making it easier to talk to people.


4. Use conversation builders such as "What do you think of...?" “Have you heard...?" and “What is your take on...?" Stay away from negative or controversial topics, and refrain from long-winded stories or unnecessary detail in casual conversation. Talking about the time you threw up on someone at The Union is not a good networking conversation.


5. Be honest. If you are sweating bullets because you are nervous about the situation, it is okay to say so. Say something like, “This is the first meeting I have attended, and I’m never certain what to say or what questions to ask. You really handle yourself well. Any suggestions for me?” If you are honest about it, people will probably be empathetic with you. Most people will understand your feelings. Most were probably uncomfortable in networking situations before, too!


6. Ask questions. The best conversationalists mix talking with listening. As people talk about themselves, you can ask about their job, company, or business projects. This frequently leads to opportunities where you can indicate how your skills can be of benefit or how you might be able to help. To obtain really good information, ask open-ended questions. For example: "Why?", "What if?", "What is your opinion?", or "That's really interesting. Can you tell me more?" By asking questions and showing sincere interest in a person’s response, you come across as both professional and communication savvy. If you ask questions and do not appear interested in the person’s answer, you will have lost an opportunity to establish a good personal or business relationship. Listen intently and do not interrupt. Give feedback and maintain eye contact. Sincerity brings you respect and admiration, and people hire individuals they know and respect.


7. Accept business cards gratefully. If someone hands you a business card, accept it as a gift. Don’t just throw it into your briefcase or pocket without a glance. Take a moment to read it to show that you appreciate receiving it.

8. Act confident even when you’re not. If you look uncomfortable, you are going to make the people you are talking to uncomfortable. Don’t stare at the floor, shift your weight or stand with your arms crossed.

9. Be respectful. If you decide to enter a conversation that is already in progress, stop to observe and listen. Don’t just interrupt the conversation because you want to get involved. If you stand to the side and show interest, it is more likely that those in the conversations will notice you and invite you to join.

10. Exit gracefully. Exiting a conversation is often tougher than starting one. Have a few exit lines ready, so that you can gracefully move on. For example: "I've enjoyed talking with you. I've noticed a couple of new guests that I haven't met as yet. Would you please excuse me?" or "I need to check in with a colleague over there." If all else fails, head to the restroom. Don't be embarrassed to move on; you do not want to overstay your welcome. One of the biggest mistakes in networking is to talk too much. You want to make a good impression and leave people wanting more. To do that, “Mingling Maven” Susan RoAne advises: "Be bright. Be brief. Be gone."


11. Follow up on leads. If a person gives you their business card, give the person a call or send them an email a few days after the event and thank them for taking the time to talk with you. The worst thing that can happen is that you don't get a meeting or job lead. You are no worse off than you were before. But if you make the call, odds are something will materialize. At the very least, you just might make a new friend who is willing to keep any eye out for other job opportunities.

12. Attend every opportunity possible to work a room or connect with new people. Something is bound to come from these small talk opportunities. If nothing else, you will gain practice in the art of working a room. And we all know that practice makes perfect!

Sharon Metzung (BSJ 2003) is the Publications & Graphics Manager at Lake Metroparks in Concord Township, Ohio. Sharon can be reached at s_metzung@yahoo.com.

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