The Perfect Handshake

You may look at the title of this article and think, “Really? What’s the big deal about a handshake? How hard can it be?” Well, take it from someone who has shaken a lot of hands over the years: handshakes matter.

Most people don’t realize that there are right and wrong ways of shaking hands. Believe me, you don’t want to be known around the office as the “wet noodle” or the “bonecrusher.” People DO notice your handshake and they DO make judgments about your character and level of confidence through your handshake. Communicating confidence and reliability are crucial to your success in not only business, but life. A well-executed handshake is probably the best and easiest to develop business skill.

While a handshake might seem like a straightforward no-brainer, there are a few things you need to remember:

1. Shake hands whenever you are introduced to someone, whenever you introduce yourself to someone, and whenever you say goodbye.

2. Say something when you shake hands. “It’s very nice to meet you Mr. Smith” and “It’s great to see you again” are appropriate.

3. Make sure your hands are dry. No one likes clammy hands. In fact, sweaty hands communicate nervousness and can make people think you are not up to the job or that you have something to hide. Experts recommend carrying Kleenex or baby powder with you to absorb excess moisture.

4. Think about your grip. A medium-firm grip conveys confidence and authority, which is what you want to exude.

5. Respond with pressure that meets the pressure you receive and don’t try to overpower the other person if their grasp is more timid.

6. Shake palm to palm and keep your hand perpendicular to the ground.

7. Know when to let go. The ideal handshake lasts about three seconds. The hands can be pumped once or twice, but that’s enough. Continually pumping hands comes across as overzealous and, quite frankly, kind of awkward.

8. Make eye contact and smile.

9. Only do the hand-in-hand handshake when congratulating someone you know well. The hand-in-hand is when you sandwich the other person’s hand with both of your hands. If you do this to someone you don’t know very well or have just met, they can feel uncomfortable, overpowered, or even threatened. So be careful and use this handshake sparingly.

In today’s business world, both men and women shake hands. The idea that a woman should not extend her hand first or a man should wait for a woman to extend her hand is outdated. Both men and women can feel free to extend their hands out first when meeting someone. In fact, I recommend it. The perfect handshake is one that conveys a friendly, welcoming attitude. A firm handshake helps make a good first impression for both men and women.

Below are some common types of “bad handshakes.” Pay attention because you don’t want to be the person who greets others with these handshakes.

The “Wet One”: Hand is clammy and cold. This type of handshake is universally unpopular and is read by the receiver as a lack of commitment to the encounter.

The “Dead Fish”: Hand is limp, lifeless and just hangs. This type of handshake leaves the impression that you don’t have an interest in the meeting and conveys a lackluster personality.

The “Bone Crusher”: Handshake is hard and forceful and involves squeezing the other person’s hand tightly. A trademark of the overly aggressive person, this type of handshake reveals a desire to dominate and assume early control.

The “Fingertip Grab”: A handshake where the fingers are grabbed instead of the entire hand. This type of handshake shows a lack of confidence.

The “Stiff Arm Thrust”: Hand is stiff and body is leaning forward. This type of handshake is used by aggressive types to keep others at a distance and show control.

The “Pumper”: Hand is pumped with energy and a rhythmic series of rapid vertical strokes. This handshake is overly eager and insecure. This person doesn’t know when to quit and stalls because he/she doesn’t know what to do next.

The “Don’t Touch Me”: Hand is not even fully offered. This person will barely put three or four fingers in your hand—and then withdraw them quickly, almost as if afraid of catching a disease. This appears timid, sheepish, and distant.

The “I’m You’re Best Friend”: Hand and arm are clasped forcefully. This person comes across as too familiar, clasping your arm and perhaps attempting to hug you. This behavior may be appropriate at a funeral, but it comes across as condescending and inappropriate in a business setting.

Please take note of the above mentioned handshake types because they can help you become a better “shaker.” Jill Bremer, a professional image consultant and co-author of It’s Your Move: Dealing Yourself the Best Cards in Life and Work says, “Handshakes are the only consistent physical contact we have in the business world. They happen first, so they set the tone for the entire relationship,” and everyone knows how important first impressions are.

Sharon Metzung (BSJ 2003) is the Publications & Graphics Manager at Lake Metroparks in Concord Township, Ohio. She can be reached at s_metzung@yahoo.com.